Am I a Workaholic?
It’s a harsh reality to become fully aware of the fact that we are addicted to work, and can be no longer be protected by the veneer of denial or busyness. Upon awareness it is very normal to feel anger and resentment about previous choices and sacrifices and these emotions are rather uncomfortable and intense. However, these uncomfortable emotions can be valuable, if not necessary to the process of reflection and changing things up going forward.
Anger is a basic emotion which is needed sometimes in life and it doesn’t necessarily mean being outwardly aggressive or wanting to physically fight someone. The primary job of anger is to protect oneself and setting boundaries that create self-preservation, these are two factors that need to be addressed when experiencing burnout.
Resentment, on the other hand can be another form of anger or frustration around something seeming unfair. Problems can arise when a person is unable forgive others or themselves for choices and actions that have been made. In order to start processing your resentment, give yourself some time to reflect on why you have historically devoted yourself to work and reflect on what has changed now that want to reassess your relationship with work. There are always reasons behind our actions and choices, past and present. Having a deeper understanding of this could help you to gain acceptance of the past and other people that may have been part of this journey.
Here are some things to ponder:
What is important to you?
This could be also called a priorities exercise. What is important to you today? Maybe you have forgotten or have really never thought about it seriously and constructively. I invite you to write your top 5. Note them down and ask yourself how they could be integrated into your life at some level. To get the juices flowing here are some examples of what may be on that list (feel free to add your own):
Family
Friends
Health and fitness
Income
Independence
Influence and power
Making use of talents
Personal growth
Positive impact on society
Professional growth
Security
Spirituality/faith
Spouse/partner
Stimulating/rewarding work
Time for leisure and relaxation
Wealth/savings
Where you live
Status
What makes you happy?
When you ask someone what they find most important in life, chances are that happiness is a part of the answer. We all want to be happy, because happiness is a part of everyone’s actions. Whether it’s the people you interact with or what you enjoy doing alone or the goals you are working towards, what gives you the most happiness, fun or contentment?
Saying ‘no’
‘No’ can be the hardest word for a workaholic. Doing things we don’t want to do has a detrimental impact on our wellbeing and saying no has so many complexities attached to it, to name a couple: How we value ourselves and setting boundaries. Saying no in our head is much easier than saying it out loud and it is something that needs practice. So just need to become aware of each decision and before you say ‘yes’, think about the cost of the yes, will you be sacrificing yourself in some way? Is it possible to say no? Would you like to say no?
Create some head space
I’m guessing that if you are reading this and you are a workaholic then you haven’t had much head space over the years or opportunity to really put yourself first. So, having time to have a mental breather and gathering your thoughts could be rather important to you now. Think about what or who could help you gain a little headspace so you can process where you’re at right now.
Connect to your physical self
Usually when we dedicate ourselves to work, on some level we become totally detached from our physical self. Reconnecting to our body is integral to staying in tune with our self after many years of disconnect. We live so much in our heads we can easily forget about our bodies. So, what could help you to connect to your body? This could be many things such as any form of movement, exercise, sport, human touch, getting in touch with nature, massage, etc.
